the constitution restoration act of 2005
Constitution Restoration Act of 2005 [thomas, library of congress]SEC. 201. INTERPRETATION OF THE CONSTITUTION.
In interpreting and applying the Constitution of the United States, a court of the United States may not rely upon any constitution, law, administrative rule, Executive order, directive, policy, judicial decision, or any other action of any foreign state or international organization or agency, other than English constitutional and common law up to the time of the adoption of the Constitution of the United States.
you have seriously got to be kidding me. welcome to the 18th century, america. for reference, the united states constitution came into effect on march 4, 1789. anything that’s happened since then is, well… bad.
this proposal brought to you by senators shelby {republican, alabama), brownback (republican, nebraska), and burr (republican, north carolina.
well, let’s have some fun with these gentlemen, since they’re so obviously having fun with us…
first, we come to the good senator shelby. from that bio, we learn that “Senator Shelby’s legislative agenda mirrors not only his conservative values, but his commitment to freedom, family and a strong prosperous economy.” freedom! 1789-style!
next, we have senator brownback. first, i’m going to pick on him for this: “© U.S. Senator Sam Brownback, 2001” from the front page on his website. 2001. this does suggest senator brownback has some affinity for the past (either that, or this senator hasn’t done anything worth sharing with his constituents in four years). 2001 is not quite 1789, but right up at the top of his bio, we have another potential hint: “In high school, Brownback served as state president and as a national officer of the Future Farmers of America. Later he received a Bachelor of Science degree with honors in Agricultural Economics from Kansas State University.” senator brownback is a farmer!
and finally, we come to senator burr, who graduated from r.j. reynolds high school (go demons!). this, of course, explains his interest in tobacco, and, as you are well aware, tobacco was big business in the 18th century.
and, i’m going to make the bold and offensive leap and just go there.
the good senators want to reintroduce slavery. this is awesome. i need a few good slaves. how many slaves can i get for 37 cents and a pack of gum?