the ronald reagan america act
there was once a tradition that you mostly named things after and built icons and homages to great people after they died.
today, i heard about the ronald reagan dime act (and the request by mrs. reagan to withdraw the proposal). i have to agree, but for a different reason. this is a wimpy proposal.
we have no time for tradition, the man can’t even feed himself, we should act now to honor this great former american president while he’s still breathing, but completely unaware of our bold gestures.
accordingly, it’s time to unveil the “united states of reagan act,” which would rename the western hemisphere as “the gippersphere.” north america would become north reagan. south america, of course, south reagan. and, naturally, this would become the united states of reagan, or “usr” which is, incidentally, a homage to reagan’s great defeat of the pinko communist evil empire that was once known as the “ussr.”
resistance is futile, you will be reaganated.
oh, and jelly beans for everyone!