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Thursday, January 13, 2005

meds bears

it’s been a while since i’ve shared a business model with my loyal readers, but i am inspired by the vermont teddy bear company which will only be competing for a limited time.

Strait-Jacketed Teddy Bear Brings Protests [ap via abc news, january 12, 2005]

The Vermont Teddy Bear Co. said Wednesday it would continue selling its strait-jacketed “Crazy for You Bear” through Valentine’s Day, despite protests from mental health advocates.

The company said it would discontinue the bear, but not before Feb. 14.

yeah, ok… so some people will be offended. some people can’t handle the cute. but if you’re worried about “a tasteless use of marketing that stigmatizes persons with mental illness,” just you wait until i come out with the whole line of psych-med drug bears. of course, to avoid lawsuits from the pharmaceutical companies (unless, of course, they’re interested in being sponsors….), i’ll probably have to go with generic names (and avoid prozac), so allow me to introduce:

fluoxetine-bear, pimozide-bear, risperidone-bear, clozapine-bear, fluphenazine-bear, haloperidol-bear, loxapine-bear…

… and we’re just getting started. plenty of other psychoactive meds already on the market, and even more in the pipeline.

each one, of course, will come with a pill bottle, some evidence of mental issues (now safely under-control) and common side-effects of their particular prescription. for example, the obsessive-compulsive disorder bears might include no fur below the elbows, and vomiting and flatulence sound (adverse reactions of fluoxetine hydrochloride).

the vermont people went at this market all wrong. nobody sees straighjackets anymore (ok, well, not many), but we’ve got millions of medicated people – even children – among us all the time. this isn’t a dig at mental disorders, of course, it’s something for the kids to relate to. “see? fluoxetine bear has a grumbly tummy just like yours… now take your meds.”

posted by roj at 2:26 am