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Saturday, April 9, 2005

the constitution restoration act of 2005

Constitution Restoration Act of 2005 [thomas, library of congress]

SEC. 201. INTERPRETATION OF THE CONSTITUTION.

In interpreting and applying the Constitution of the United States, a court of the United States may not rely upon any constitution, law, administrative rule, Executive order, directive, policy, judicial decision, or any other action of any foreign state or international organization or agency, other than English constitutional and common law up to the time of the adoption of the Constitution of the United States.

you have seriously got to be kidding me. welcome to the 18th century, america. for reference, the united states constitution came into effect on march 4, 1789. anything that’s happened since then is, well… bad.

this proposal brought to you by senators shelby {republican, alabama), brownback (republican, nebraska), and burr (republican, north carolina.

well, let’s have some fun with these gentlemen, since they’re so obviously having fun with us…

first, we come to the good senator shelby. from that bio, we learn that “Senator Shelby’s legislative agenda mirrors not only his conservative values, but his commitment to freedom, family and a strong prosperous economy.” freedom! 1789-style!

next, we have senator brownback. first, i’m going to pick on him for this: “© U.S. Senator Sam Brownback, 2001” from the front page on his website. 2001. this does suggest senator brownback has some affinity for the past (either that, or this senator hasn’t done anything worth sharing with his constituents in four years). 2001 is not quite 1789, but right up at the top of his bio, we have another potential hint: “In high school, Brownback served as state president and as a national officer of the Future Farmers of America. Later he received a Bachelor of Science degree with honors in Agricultural Economics from Kansas State University.” senator brownback is a farmer!

and finally, we come to senator burr, who graduated from r.j. reynolds high school (go demons!). this, of course, explains his interest in tobacco, and, as you are well aware, tobacco was big business in the 18th century.

and, i’m going to make the bold and offensive leap and just go there.

the good senators want to reintroduce slavery. this is awesome. i need a few good slaves. how many slaves can i get for 37 cents and a pack of gum?

posted by roj at 6:35 am  

Thursday, April 7, 2005

a sign that we’re all a little nervous

that’s a deep and meaningful insight.

i’ve had a shitty day, really. got quite a curveball this morning. but, nothing compared to Mike Bolesta’s day.

Baltimore Sun, Mar 8, 2005 [unlinked because it’s behind a wall]

On the morning of Feb. 20, he buys a new radio-CD player for his 17-year-old son Christopher’s car. He pays the $114 installation charge with 57 crisp new $2 bills, which, when last observed, were still considered legitimate currency in the United States proper. The $2 bills are Bolesta’s idea of payment, and his little comic protest, too.

For this, Bolesta, Baltimore County resident, innocent citizen, owner of Capital City Student Tours, finds himself under arrest.

Finds himself, in front of a store full of customers at the Best Buy on York Road in Lutherville, locked into handcuffs and leg irons.

Finds himself transported to the Baltimore County lockup in Cockeysville, where he’s handcuffed to a pole for three hours while the U.S. Secret Service is called into the case.

sure, the internet brings the stupid, but they have to come from somewhere, and that somewhere, sometimes, is your local big-box retailer.

a whole store full of people, presumably people that can read (then again, maybe not, i don’t know what the application process is like for best buy), and they can’t handle $2 bills?

it saddens me. really.

posted by roj at 9:50 pm  

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

check your bumperstickers

ejected from a presidential event after being identified as a bumper-sticker-sporting slogan-terrorist? say it ain’t so.

i wonder if i can get jail time for this one?

noirony.jpg

posted by roj at 11:26 pm  

Saturday, March 19, 2005

fascist america linked

someone (laurence britt) took some time to look at the fascist regimes of hitler, mussolini, franco, suharto, and pinochet and try to find a pattern

today, for your secure homeland bemusement, i link you to someone else who has taken that pattern and matched it to current events.

posted by roj at 2:50 pm  

Saturday, March 19, 2005

mirmehdi conditions of release

once upon a time, four brothers came to america from iran seeking asylum. in 1999, they were arrested for lying on their applications for asylum, and released in 2000. then came 9/11, and they were rounded up as security threats in october 2001.

Four Iranian Brothers Reject U.S. Release [ap, via abc news, feb 6, 2005]

They were charged with lying on applications for political asylum after an earlier FBI investigation of a Los Angeles-based cell of Moujahedeen Khalq, or MEK, which opposes Iran’s regime. An immigration appeals board has ruled that the brothers did not have ties to terrorism, but upheld their deportations.

first, there’s this sticky issue of deportation – the trick with deportating something is that someone else has to import it. apparently, no countries were willing to accept these guys, because the department of homeland security had tagged them as terrorists, and who wants to import terrorists? so, with nowhere to go, they sat in jail for more than 1200 days.

call me generous, but 1200 days is a long time to spend in jail for “lying on an application for political asylum” – no matter what the lie. i can only imagine what the penalty is for something really serious – like cheating on one of those no-child-left-behind tests.

but back to the story. the courts imposed a feb 20 (2005) deadline for the government to justify their continued detention or release them. because we have a creative government, these brothers were offered conditional release. and that’s what i’m here to type about today.

apparently (and i have so far been unable to find the original list of conditions), my government offered to release these gentlemen, with 13 conditions. things like they could not possess weapons, and had to check in with government-appointed babysitters on a regular basis, and they couldn’t travel more than 35 miles from their homes, or change addresses without government approval, or “talk to anyone with a criminal or terrorist background” [U.S. Releases Four Iranian Brothers, washington post, march 18, 2005].

i, for one, am glad someone read the fine print on this. because that suggests to me that the government has a list of everyone with a “criminal or terrorist background” and that they would provide it to these gentlemen so they could comply with the terms of their release. of course, i haven’t actually seen the fine print here, but you have to wonder just how much of a criminal you have to be to count. i’m certainly a criminal. back in high school, i used to jaywalk almost daily (but i was never convicted). in fact, the president of the united states has a criminal background (he was).

these brothers refused to accept the conditions, and, i think, rightfully so. would you be willing to live under the condition that you never talk to anyone with a criminal background? under penalty of re-incarceration and/or deportation?

U.S. Releases Four Iranian Brothers [washington post, march 18, 2005]

ICE [Immigration and Customs Enforcement] spokeswoman Virginia Kice said the conditions were amended to keep them in a three-county area and bar them from political acts, espionage or terrorism as well as from knowingly associating with anyone involved in those acts.

not quite on the february 20 deadline, but the brothers mirmehdi are now out of “detention.” i hope this story doesn’t fade quickly.

[portions of this post from feb 6, 2005, updated and published with the news of their release]

but wait! there’s more. a formal investigation into a jailhouse scuffle involving one of the brothers.

U.S. investigating fight between 9/11 detainee and guard [san diego union-tribune, march 10, 2005]

Mirmehdi’s brothers said the incident Saturday began because guards delayed assistance to an ailing detainee who was begging to be taken to the bathroom. The detainee, Abdel Jabbar Hamdan, said in an interview that he has several medical conditions, including diabetes and kidney stones, and that Lopez taunted and mocked him.

“I said, ‘Please let me go to the bathroom,’ I was crying,” Hamdan said. “I was holding my stomach in extreme pain. Everyone see me crying. He was laughing at me. He said if you need to do it so badly why don’t you do it on the floor. Then you have to clean it. I said, ‘Please, I’m an old man, let me go, please.’ ”

He was eventually taken to the bathroom, Hamdan said.

Mostafa Mirmehdi had been troubled by Hamdan’s cries for help and asked Lopez about it, and asked his name, presumably to report his conduct. Lopez became irate, said Mostafa, Mohsen and Mojtaba Mirmehdi and Hamdan in separate telephone interviews. The brothers said Mohammad Mirmehdi asked Lopez why he was yelling at his brother. Lopez then attacked, beating and choking Mohammad, the brothers said.

“Mohammad was saying, ‘You are killing me, you are killing me! ” said Mohsen Mirmehdi. “I banged on the door, ‘You are killing my brother! Let him go! (Lopez) closed the door with his other foot. And I couldn’t see anything else. I could still hear Mohammad.”

One of Mirmehdi’s lawyers, Ahilan Arulanantham of the American Civil Liberties Union, met with him and Hamdan on Monday. He said Mirmehdi had bruises on his throat, under his ears, cuts on his face and welts on his arms.

“I think that clearly the account that was given by [Department of Homeland Security spokesperson] Virginia Kice is impossible to reconcile with the pattern of the injuries on his body,” Arulanantham said.

“formal investigations” don’t seem to change things very much.

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me.
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

welcome to america.

posted by roj at 1:46 pm  

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

any matter at any time

ok, just so i’m absolutely certain that my government has their priorities straight. the house committee on government reform has issued subpoenas for its hearings on steroid use in baseball. is this really the right place to address the issue?

Hearing slate not yet settled [san jose mercury news, march 11, 2005]

…in a letter Thursday to Major League Baseball, Davis and Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Los Angeles, the committee’s top Democrat, pointed to a provision in House rules giving the committee authority “to conduct investigations of any matter” at “any time.”

well, in the interest of good sourcing, let’s find the rules in question… i’ve never heard this rule invoked in public discourse before. sounds pretty broad. sounds like the the kind of rule we should’ve heard about dozens of times as our government got into one stupid situation after another… does it really exist?

(c)(1) NOTE: Sec. 749. Government Reform. The Committee on Government Reform shall–
(A) receive and examine reports of the Comptroller General of the United States and submit to the House such recommendations as it
considers necessary or desirable in connection with the subject matter
of the reports;
(B) evaluate the effects of laws enacted to reorganize the
legislative and executive branches of the Government; and
(C) study intergovernmental relationships between the United
States and the States and municipalities and between the United States
and international organizations of which the United States is a member.
(2) In addition to its duties under subparagraph (1), the
Committee on Government Reform may at any time conduct investigations of any matter without regard to clause 1, 2, 3, or this clause conferring jurisdiction over the matter to another standing committee. The findings and recommendations of the committee in such an investigation shall be made available to any other standing committee having jurisdiction over the matter involved.

yep. there it is. any matter at any time. they picked steroids in baseball. a house committee with the broadest possible scope has picked steroid abuse. surely, this means steroid abuse is the most important issue in america today.

you’re kidding me, right?

posted by roj at 1:26 am  

Saturday, March 12, 2005

uk terror bill

obviously, not my america, but not my uk either.

sorry, british subjects… you may need one of these

posted by roj at 7:00 am  

Thursday, March 10, 2005

spider-hole fabrication?

could it be true? could the capture of the greatest threat to american security (excepting all others) have been a staged event?

A former U.S. Marine who participated in capturing ousted Iraqi President Saddam Hussein said the public version of his capture was fabricated.

Ex-Sgt. Nadim Abou Rabeh, of Lebanese descent, was quoted in the Saudi daily al-Medina Wednesday as saying Saddam was actually captured Friday, Dec. 12, 2003, and not the day after, as announced by the U.S. Army.

reminds me of rumors about kurds nabbing saddam, drugging him and leaving him in a hole for the americans to find. and something about trees out-of-season. oh, the conspiracy theories are so confusing.

but more importantly, does anyone trust the united states anymore?

posted by roj at 3:25 pm  

Thursday, March 10, 2005

pee or else

Authorities say a police officer twice used a Taser stun device on a drug suspect who was restrained to a hospital bed because the man refused to give a urine sample to medical staff.

i’m sure this doesn’t qualify as torture in the New America, so what exactly is it?

posted by roj at 2:16 am  

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

posters are dangerous

we’re coming up on inauguration day, and as a precuation and security is a huge issue this time around. let’s review.

Prohibited Items

Firearms, weapons of any kind, ammunition (either real or simulated), explosives of any kind (including fireworks), knives, blades, or sharp objects (of any length), aerosol sprays, coolers, thermal or glass containers, mace, pepper spray, sticks, poles, pocket or hand tools (such as a leatherman), packages, backpacks, large bags, duffel bags, suitcases, laser pointers, posters, signs, placards (including supports structures), animals other than guide dogs or service dogs assisting handicapped individuals, strollers, chairs, umbrellas, alcoholic beverages, and any other items at the discretion of the security screeners that may pose a potential safety hazard.

let’s just zoom in on a couple things there…

posters.
signs.

i can only conclude that pieces of paper of cardboard with writing on them are extremely hazardous to the sign-bearer, facing potential beat-down by his fellow citizens, half of which probably disagree with anything that might be on said poster or sign.

fortunately, they haven’t banned t-shirts. yet.

sign me up for the next thoughtcrime reeducation seminar, please. before i hurt myself or the party.

posted by roj at 5:35 am  
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