meta-roj

this must be some kind of strange political strategy to ensure that real criticism is not directed at the major candidates. first cheney delivers the now-classic “fuck yourself” on the floor of the senate with no regrets.

now it’s the democrat’s turn: theresa heinz-kerry delivers a “shove it” and she has no regrets either.

honors are tarnished. i think it’s time for a duel.

“they need a divided america”

since the nice votemaster at electoral-vote.com makes the data available in raw form, i thought i’d take a peek at a question i haven’t seen discussed so far.

as we are [should be!] aware, the broad vote count doesn’t really matter in the united states. what matters is the electoral college scoreboard. so i thought i’d take yesterday’s data (july 26) and compare it to the 2000 election, and see who was making progress in each state. progress, in this case, is defined as polling better as of yesterday than the actual democratic/republican split in a given state in 2000.

democrats advance in:
alaska (+5.23%)
colorado (+0.61%)
delaware (+0.02%)
district of columbia (+3.28%)
hawaii (+0.21%)
nevada (+2.77%)
new hampshire (+0.09%)
new mexico (+1.09%)
north carolina (+0.85%)
oregon (+2.94%)
south carolina (+3.1%)
tennessee (+0.71%)
vermont (+0.28%)
virginia (+0.52%)
washington (+2.84%)
wisconsin (+0.17%)

republicans advance in:
delaware (+0.08%)
florida (+1.15%)
maine (+1.03%)
mississippi (+3.38%)
new jersey (+0.71%)
north dakota (+0.34%)

i’m ignoring third parties, and of course, most of these are well within the margin of error for the poll, but i thought i’d be interesting to put the last state polls before the conventions on the record.

because we can’t take american politics too seriously anymore… it’s time to explore the ketchup wars.

in the red corner, we have w ketchup, “you don’t support democrats, why should your ketchup,” and in the other red corner, we have bush county ketchup, “the official ketchup of right-thinking americans.”

this is, of course, because heinz ketchup is what kerry sleeps with every night, and in the hot dog-eat-dog world of presidential politics, how you wet your weiner is often the single most important issue.

but all is not happiness and light in the “republican-safe ketchup zone” – there is conflict.

First Rounds Fired in Conservative ‘Ketchup War’ [talon news, july 16, 2004]

Noting that he is “not in this for money,” [patrick] Spero [co-founder of bush country ketchup] told Talon News that he is “truly afraid that good conservatives may be taken advantage of by W Ketchup, possible liberals who are enjoying a good laugh at the expense of trusting conservatives.”

ok, ok… you didn’t hear it here first. talon news has been concentrating “on news that conservatives care about without putting a liberal spin on it” since april 1, 2003.

i will add that bush country ketchup is a product of conservative condiments, inc. of philadelphia. and we know the heinz empire is pittsburgh-based. pennsylvania, of course, is a blue state. could this mean that if bush country ketchup defeats w ketchup in the condiment primaries, that we could be looking at a pennsylvania civil war? could we end up splitting off pittsburgh and surrounding areas as “west pennsylvania”?

disclaimer: i haven’t tried either of these ketchups, but they taste like the rancid blood of a thousand plague-infested camels.

just don’t offer these guys a “condom mint”

[groans were free on this one]

if it’s good enough for frat boys at yale, then it’s good enough for anyone, eh?

should i really call this torture? maybe not.

Ally of an Older Generation Amid the Tumult of the 60’s [dke.org]

Many athletes were in DKE, and it was famous for its parties, rowdiness and hazing. Former members say that the new pledges were paddled, battered and then shown a large iron brand glowing red hot in the fireplace. They were told to turn around to be branded, and then a much smaller brand (made of a wire hanger) was substituted to burn a triangle in the small of their backs, as the large brand was dipped into water to make a heart-stopping sizzle.

it’s an old story, really, it even got press coverage in the 2000 election, but i figured i should chime in as well, inspired by ‘Doonesbury’ Artist Trudeau Skewers Bush [ap, via abcnews].

Liberties; President Frat Boy? [dke.org / new york times]

”The charge that has caused the most controversy on the Yale campus,” Mr. Weisman wrote, ”is that Delta Kappa Epsilon applied a ‘hot branding iron’ to the small of the back of its 40 new members in ceremonies two weeks ago. A photograph showing a scab in the shape of the Greek letter delta, approximately a half inch wide, appeared with the article. A former president of Delta said that the branding is done with a hot coat hanger. But the former president, George Bush, a Yale senior, said that the resulting wound is ‘only a cigarette burn.’ ” The fraternities were fined by the Yale Interfraternity Council.

it seems that president bush hasn’t learned much about doing bad things and getting sanctioned when caught, and it’s been a lesson he’s had available since the late 1960’s, at least.

back in february, we made note of the union of concerned scientists and their report on bush administration agendas driving policies.

several months later, the same group took on the missile defense plan.

this week, we find that the bush administration sold [bbc, july 8, 2004] the missile defense agenda to australia. the heritage foundation noted the bbc report, and made a point of reminding us that south korea, japan, britain, and israel have also been drinking the same kool-aid. heritage, of course, has it’s own spin on the missile defense, which i’m happy to link next to this analysis. make up your own mind.

but, it doesn’t stop there… those crazy scientists are still at it, and issued a new press release on the bush administration’s interesting relationship with science.

New Cases of Scientific Abuse by Administration Emerge [union of concerned scientists, july 9, 2004]

“Had the White House taken action to rectify this situation, and discontinue practices that threaten the public health and safety of Americans, we would not be here today,” said Dr. Kurt Gottfried, Emeritus Professor of Physics at Cornell University and Chair of the Union of Concerned Scientists, during a reporter briefing. “Instead, the White House has been dismissive of the scientific community’s concerns and new cases of unacceptable political interference have come to light. As a result, the number of scientists willing to speak out has grown exponentially.”

this is interesting, if for no other reason than i’m fairly confident that dr. kurt gottfried actually understands what “exponentially” means.

Bush Military Service Files Were Destroyed – Report [reuters, july 9, 2004]

Payroll records of “numerous service members, ” including Bush, were ruined in 1996 and 1997 during a project to salvage deteriorating microfilm by the Defense Finance and Accounting Service, the newspaper [the New York Times] said, citing the Pentagon

well, i guess these sorts of things happen once in a while. in the meantime, since you can’t read those records, maybe you’d like to read an analysis of the records that are available.

President declines NAACP invite to speak [ap via seattle post intelligencer, july 8, 2004]

Bush spoke at the 2000 NAACP convention in Baltimore when he was a candidate. But he has declined invitations to speak in each year of his presidency, the first president since Herbert Hoover not to attend an NAACP convention, John White, a spokesman for the group, said Wednesday.

just for reference, hoover was president from 1929 to 1933.

i still think this is a good idea….

kerry, run the cabinet.

on june 6, president bush issued a proclamation regarding the death of president ronald reagan.

Announcing the Death of Ronald Reagan

NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, by the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, in honor and tribute to the memory of Ronald Reagan, and as an expression of public sorrow, do hereby direct that the flag of the United States be displayed at half-staff at the White House and on all buildings, grounds, and Naval vessels of the United States for a period of 30 days from the day of his death.

june has 30 days, and president bush made this proclamation on june 6th. that means this proclamation orders the display of the american flag at half-staff until july 6th. on july 2nd, the white house issued another proclamation:

Returning the Flag of the United States to Full-Staff

By the authority vested in me as President of the United States by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, and in honor and tribute to the memory of Ronald Reagan, it is hereby ordered that the flag of the United States shall be displayed at full-staff at the White House and on all buildings, grounds, and Naval vessels of the United States beginning July 3, 2004.

this is either a waffle or another demonstration of the bush administration’s difficulty with counting.

i’m sensing a pattern here… this administration can’t count votes… can’t count money… can’t count terrorist incidents… maybe it’s an institutional difficulty with numbers. maybe that’s a good reason for the whole pro-education position this administration has taken. but i still think it’s a waffle.